Sunday, June 3, 2007

Something for Eliot

Smile my smile
laugh my song
hug my neck
from dark till dawn

bat my eyelids
toss my chin
fit my anger
race my win

you lack my wisdom
I lack your joy
I am your mother
you are my boy.


Phillip Moses said...

Ok, you told me last night that you wanted people to comment on your poetry (you little narcissist...), so here I go.

I love this one. I love how this poem not only describes the physical characteristics that our little boy inherited from you, but also your personal struggles. I like the way you paint the picture that he manifests the trait, but the trait is really yours.

He "verbs" your "noun", if you will.

That concept in and of itself makes the poem good, but what I think makes the poem special is the way you weave both your shared negatives as well as your shared hopes.

"fit my anger" - his little tantrums are physical representations of the anger that you have in your own heart (but are too mature and "godly" to express).

"race my win" - As his mommy, so many of your hopes for your own fulfillment are bound up in his success or failure in the race of life. He's not just running his own race, but since he has taken the baton from you, he is also running your race. The choice of the word "win" is significant, because it is so full of hope and faith.

"You lack my wisdom / I lack your joy."

Our little boys have taught us more than we can ever teach them, and I'm so glad they have your as a mommy.

Lara said...

Hey, I just discovered your blog from Kate. I absolutely loved this poem. Things like this are just better said with poetry. You touched my heart with this one.

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