My right hand man ...

... has been working 14-30 hour days (I know, the math doesn't work on that one).  And as much as I would like to be a super mom, it just not possible I'm afraid. The house is a mess, the kids are a mess, I'm a mess ...  this verse was shared at Bible Study yesterday.  I needed it.

Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

9

"A careful reading of Plato makes it clear that love ... always has an object.  Although we may love a person, according to Plato, it is the essence of beauty that draws us to the person." (Psychology of Love, Bernard Murstein)

Murstein goes on to say that while physical beauty may draw us to a person, we continue to love and grow in our love as we learn to appriciate their moral and intelectual beauty. 

I've also heard that our love of a person enhances their beauty in our eyes, both physically and otherwise.  That, at least to us the object of our love is more beautiful, more wonderful, more amazing than any other. 

Does love leave us blind and deluded?  I don't think so.  Everybody knows that their beloved has faults.  We may even choose to overlook them completely or pretend they don't exist, but deep down - we know, ... we know.

While this is turning into a less than flattering anniversary post I've been thinking a lot about the last 9 years of my life and man, we've been through some tough times but Phillip, despite your infinite idiosyncracies and shortcomings - you are more beautiful, more wonderful, more amazing to me now than ever before and I love you.  Happy Anniversary!

sniff ...

No more home made bread.  It was fun while it lasted.

After essentially having bread with 2 out of 3 meals a day for a while I realized that it might be causing an increase in Eliot's tummy aches.  My heart just broke for him when every day throughout the day he would tell me that his tummy hurt.  I didn't know what to do so I had him tested for food allergies.

He doesn't have celiac disease but he is moderately allergic to peanuts, soy and wheat (along with dogs and cats which is fine because we don't eat them very often).

In the past few weeks of not eating wheat products Eliot's tummy aches have gone away, he is WAYYYY less grouchy, he's off his asthma steroid inhaler, off his allergy medication and hasn't had to use his rescue inhaler either!! Personally I have noticed a huge increase in my own energy levels on days I can stay away from wheat products.  I'm so glad that we've figured this out and that it is such a simple thing that makes such a difference!

Happy tears

My two sweet boys have been talking about it for weeks.  Eliot has mentioned a certain pocket knife several times.  There has been talk of rock monsters and transformers.  You guessed it.  Tonight was the Awana Store.

After Sparks got out tonight Zak just couldn't hide his disapointment.

"Mom, everything cost $100 dollars and there were no sales or discounts or anything!"


I felt terrible for him and then he handed me this.

I think it is beautiful.

Moral Obligation:

"We don't have a moral obligation to everyone in the world, that would be impossible.  But we do have a moral obligation to everyone we come up against, those in our "moral space" so to speak." 

Andrew McCall Smith

Have we in America lost our sense of moral obligation to each other?  As the generations pass are we growing more and more selfish?  Have we come to consider each other as less valuable and more trivial in our strive for personal independence?  Are we coming to lose sight of the fact that we must both give and take, need and be needed by those around us to fully express our own humanity?  Anything less than that is a hypocritical assumption that our lives could be lived most perfectly when we manage to avoid giving or asking anything from anyone.

Jesus fielded a similar question, you can read about it here

Haiku

I remember learning about Haiku in grade school and disliking it.  Now  I get to teach it to Eliot.  He was supposed to write his own but I "helped"

Wind
scrubbing my face red
moving leaves with one sneeze
cold harsh autumn wind


The only Haiku I have ever liked is the following:

Haikus are easy
but sometimes they don't make any sense
refridgerator

- anonymous

Extravagance

I don't respond well to extravagance.  I don't think I deserve it, I don't think I need it.  It is too much.  I can be happy with less.  Do I have a right to refuse to accept a gift that is "too much"?  Do I have the right to rob the giver of that joy?  The giver knows I don't deserve it, knows it is more than I could ever have thought of or ever considered desiring but he wants to give it anyway.  It takes a huge dose of humility and submission to accept.  No, I'm not talking about salvation and I won't divulge what the gift or the giver is I'm just trying to work out why I have such a problem with it.  I think it boils down to pride.  I'd rather earn something.  I'd rather deserve it, but then it wouldn't be a gift.  It would be a payment.

Romans 4:2-4

  ²If, in fact, Abraham was justified by works, he had something to boast about—but not before God. ³What does the Scripture say? "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness."Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. ⁵However, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness."

You can read the rest of the chapter here

I might have to try this

a single serving of home made pie!  Yup!  I'll have to let you know if it tastes good.  I'm sooooo going to be giving this as gifts this Christmas, maybe ... when I find that hour or two of spare time ...

What one person can do for Christ

2015

I found this link on a man's blog.  He thought it represented the future of shopping and would streamline the experience but that's because he is a man and he can buy a pair of pants that will fit him perfectly if he can remember his waist and inseam measurement.  I personally can try on 10 different pairs of jeans in the exact same size until I find one that fits correctly (and often it takes more than 10 tries).  What do you think?  Is this the future of shopping?

Rolly Polly Ollie

That's Isaac!  This week he cut his first tooth, learned to roll from front to back and from back to front.  He is also getting up on his hands and knees.

In other news ...

My dad is getting back from Africa after being there for business for the last 7 weeks.  Also, scientists have discovered a ring around Saturn and my house is a mess again/still.  In case anyone was wondering ...

5

soft tiny
your hand
face giggling in smile

below belly dance
leg can can kick style

grunt chuckle squeak
splarch
mouth full of cornstarch

lint velcro neck
V eyebrow arch

five months too fast
fast months to five
tummy time tango
jumping jack jive


(with apologies to e.e. cummings)

my maddonari

For those of you who have never gone to see "I maddonari" it is amazing.  Basically it is a time when local businesses sponsor an artist to create a chalk drawing.  The quality and diversity is great and when do you ever really sit down and talk to your children about Picasso's Cubism, Degas impressionism and the weird swamp monster picture that Trader Joe's sponsored.  The kids were inspired.

"SiCee"

Dirt burnished face,
   tarnished with love.
Tucked in the palm
   of a bachelor glove

Unraveled expression -
   yarn coif in tatters
My baby loves this baby
   and that's all that matters.

Home school mission statement: revised

"I love my children.  I love their little personalities.  I am aware of their flaws and weaknesses. I want to give them the best possibly education I can afford and I believe that I am best able to do  this by partnering with the professional teachers and staff at SLOCA where they can grow as individuals alongside other children whose parents have similar goals. I want their education to involve an investment in their character, work ethic, and spiritual growth. I want them to know that I would do anything for them, sacrifice everything I have for them, and learn for them in order to teach them better. I want them to know that I do all this so that hopefully at the end of their home school experience they can look back as well rounded individuals ready to contribute to a greater community and see that the journey we started together was immensely worth it for our entire family."

This year is going to be tough.  We positively cannot afford tuition but we are going to do our very best to make this thing work.  We believe it in THAT much.

September

SEPTEMBER

by: Helen Hunt Jackson (1830-1885)

The golden-rod is yellow;
The corn is turning brown;
The trees in apple orchards
With fruit are bending down.

The gentian's bluest fringes
Are curling in the sun;
In dusty pods the milkweed
Its hidden silk has spun.

The sedges flaunt their harvest,
In every meadow nook;
And asters by the brook-side
Make asters in the brook.

From dewy lanes at morning
The grapes' sweet odors rise;
At noon the roads all flutter
With yellow butterflies.

By all these lovely tokens
September days are here,
With summer's best of weather,
And autumn's best of cheer.

But none of all this beauty
Which floods the earth and air
Is unto me the secret
Which makes September fair.

'Tis a thing which I remember;
To name it thrills me yet:
One day of one September
I never can forget.

First week of school ...

I was challenged at the beginning of this school year. I was challenged to actually enjoy home schooling. All summer long I looked around my messy house full of dirty diapers, dirty laundry and dirty dishes and thought to myself "How in the world am I going to homeschool two children when I can't even keep our 900 square feet of domicile clean?" (also, how can I home school two children when I keep typing "homeschool" instead of "home school" and learning from spell check that I am incorrect.)

This year our school administrator invited us to find something satisfying, fulfilling and meaningful that we get out of home schooling and to delight in it. Don't get me wrong, I love the meaningful moments with my kids, I love reading them stories, seeing their progress and assuming I've had something to do with it, but the whole idea of giving up hobbies, interests, time, personal space and 5 hours of quiet a day to educate my children is rather daunting.

I want to write and arraign music. I want to practice the piano and sing for hours. I want to read and write poetry. I want to do a little sewing. I want to grow as an individual and give to my family wholeheartedly instead of begrudgingly. I like peace and quiet, I like order. I hate having a map of the world cover one dining room wall and a white board cover the other BUT

I love my children. I want them to get the best possibly education I can afford. I want them to grow as individuals alongside other children whose parents have similar goals. I want to invest in their character, work ethic and spiritual growth. I want them to know that I would do anything for them, sacrifice everything I have for them, and learn for them in order to teach them better. I want them to know that I do all this so that hopefully at the end of their home school experience they can look back as well rounded individuals and see that the journey we started together was immensely worth it for our entire family.

*** Wish me luck***

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost

Tell me a story!

You want to see something cute?

He's getting big and his hair is starting to look red. He just loves grabbing his toes, his hands, my hair, my necklace. He can get so distracted by my jewelry that he doesn't nurse! The other kids just love that he can hang on to a toy they are giving him and Zak and Eliot have convinced themselves that they are making him "violent" as he has started batting at his toys. There have been a few hurt feelings before the kids realized he wasn't intentionally punching them. We just don't deserve such a sweet baby!

Sharing is Caring

I have to share, it would be selfish not to! I came accross this recipe last week and am making my third batch. I've changed the original recipe at least 30% can I call this my own recipe?

Pepita Salsa
• 10 medium roma tomatoes, cored and halved
• 2 1/2 tsp chiles de arbol
• 2 tsp ground dried pasilla peppers
• 1 T kosher salt
• 2 tsp sugar
• 3 cups water
• 1/3 c unsalted hulled pumpkin seeds
• 1/4 c plus 2 T white vinegar
• one bulb garlic with the top cut off, drizzled with oil, wrapped in foil
• 1 bunch minced green onion
• 1/2 cup coarsely chopped cilantro

1. Heat the broiler and toss in a foil wrapped bulb of garlic. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil, then place tomatoes skin side up on the baking sheet. When the broiler is hot, char tomatoes until skins are slightly burned. Remove the tomatoes but leave in the garlic.
2. Put the tomatoes in a stainless steel pot. Add chiles de arbol, pasilla peppers, salt, sugar , and water. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. Cook for 20 minutes, stirring often.
3. While tomato mixture is cooking toast pumpkin seeds in a dry cast iron skillet -they burn quickly so keep them moving!
4. After the 20 minutes, add vinegar to tomato mixture and cook for 1 minute. Add toasted pumpkin seeds and the roasted garlic by squeezing it out of the skins. Place mixture in a blender, and blend until smooth.
5. Pour salsa into a container and stir in green onion and cilantro. Refrigerate for several hours before serving. Best served if chilled overnight, add salt to taste once cooled.


Note: this isn't a great to eat with chips, it is better enjoyed on a taco or an enchilada or something

Sunday's breasts

Wow, thought provoking article .. to say the least. I know I've been guilty of been naive as a teenager, unconcerned as a 20 something - but now that I'm 30 it has finally sunk in and is important to me. Is it important to you?

A week without ... noise

Pretty much impossible right? Well, after much contemplation I decided that it is time to pull the plug on all the noise not generated by my own sweet family. So starting today - no Facebook, no TV, no radio (classical station on Pandora excepted) and less computer time.

"All the vain things that charm me most .. I sacrifice them to his blood"
Charles Wesley

Home made bread - wrap up

To end my week of home made bread I made up a double batch of dough (Wednesday) but used 1/3 whole wheat. Yesterday I made baguettes, the results were very satisfying! I think I'll stick with this thing a little while longer but this next week I'm doing a week without (so much) media. More on that later...

Recipes

I purchased the book "Artisan Bread in 5 min. a day" and used the recipes from there. I don't think I can post them on the blog because of copyrights but you can check out this link by the authors of that book and see if they have it up on their website.

For the zucchini bread I used Paula Deen's recipe (although I decreased the nutmeg, sugar and oil and added 1/3 cup ground flax seed) and for the pasta I made up my own recipe

4 cloves of garlic bruised and then put through my garlic press
enough olive oil to lightly coat the pan
3 cups diced zucchini and/or whatever other summer squash you may have
Parmesan regiano
dried thyme
sea salt and pepper to taste
sausage


Cook the garlic over med-low heat with the olive oil until you stink up your whole kitchen. (Since the zucchini will soak up any extra olive oil don't use too much). Add the zucchini and resist the urge to stir it too much since you want it to be browned one side but not scorched. Once it starts to get brown add the thyme and throw it in the oven at 350 while you put the pasta water on to boil. Cook up the sausage at the same time in a different pan (casing removed if yours has a casing, I used a package of breakfast sausage because I'm not a food snob and that is all I had on hand but I bet sweet Italian sausage would be better.) Once it is nice and brown toss it in with the zucchini so that the salt from the meat can permeate. Wait for the water to boil. And wait. and wait. Better throw a lid on it so it boils faster. Once the pasta is cooked (I used whole wheat rigatoni) drain it, toss it with the veggies, taste it to see if it needs additional salt and pepper and serve with some grated Parmesan. Enjoy! (for the record my children did not enjoy ... so make it at your own risk)

Home Made bread day 4: Zucchini bread

Yesterday I made up the last of the Boule bread dough I had mixed up on Thursday. Another great result! I also made zucchini bread with the enourmous zucchini that someone anonymously left on our doorstep.

This ONE zucchini was enough for 4 batches (two loaves each- but I put some of it in the freezer to make up later) of zucchini bread with plently left over to grill up and add to our pasta dinner last night. I don't think I have ever seen such a huge zucchini in my life. The kids are loving the zucchini bread and as I made several small loaves I have about 3 friends that are going to (hopefully) enjoy some too. Thank you to who ever gave it to us!

Home made bread : day 3

In case you are counting, I skipped the weekend. (I did cook on the weekend but I cheated on the peach tart tatin that I made- I used store bought puff pastry.) So today - my first real free form loaf.

I'm just going to have to get used to being plump. I was afraid that the dough didn't rise enough but with a crispy crust and a soft interior I couldn't ask for more. Time to make some home- made jam! I've had three slices (quality control :) and I know what I'll do better next time but I'm really enjoying the whole process and feel like I could really do this!

Home made bread day 2

I'm eating home- made cinnamon rolls right now and they are FANTABULOUS!! For the record real butter and Saigon Cinnamon make all the difference. I think I'm going to have to make a lifestyle change to be able to sustain this for more than a week though. Not including yesterday's prep time (made the dough yesterday) it took an hour and 15 min this morning (rising time and cooking time).


But SO worth it.

Home made bread day 1

No proofing, no worrying, no kneading .. Hey! I can do this!!

A week ... without

I am gripped by inspiration!! I came across a blog recently where the author was going to go a whole week without processed food. My family doesn't eat much processed food simply because in a family of 6 it doesn't make much sense (we would have to buy 4 boxes, cans, jars, etc. of whatever to feed this hungry crew ...) but one thing I have refused to give up is store-bread.

Ever since I got married and realized what actually goes into running a household my respect for my mother's cooking has gone through the roof. She made pickles and jam (I didn't know you could buy jam at the store), we canned fruit and veggies to eat in the winter, we grew food in our garden, made our own granola etc. I was taken aback when I first went to the store to buy food and found all these little packages of things that were already fixed!! how nice!

As it turns out - not so nice. Everything has HFCS in it and not only do I hate the taste of HFCS, it makes me hungrier. Everything also has a ton of salt and if I can't pronounce more than three ingredients on the list I won't buy it so now I'm almost back to making everything -- except bread.

My mom has always made her own whole wheat bread (did I mention she grinds the wheat - talk about from scratch!!) but once I was introduced to whole wheat store bread I've always liked it better. Not only that I seem to have a knack for killing yeast. I can't even make decent bread with a bread machine!! But tomorrow I'm going to try again. Tomorrow starts my week without store bread. Hopefully I can manage to make yummy, appetizing bread. (Unlike this bread)

Toothless twosome

A Tale of Two Teeth

What a champ! Wednesday was the big day for Eliannah's oral procedure. We had many errands to run before going to the dentist and she kept asking, "Are we going to the doctor now?" (O.K. so she was a little confused) She woke up early and got dressed hours and hours before it was time for her appointment. She was really excited, and how could she not be? The people at the dentists office made such a huge fuss over her and she figured out pretty quick that she would get a toy after every visit (she even got to pick a toy out for Zak and Eliot). I dreaded what was to come, she couldn't wait.

Once we finally got there the dentist explained to me that they were going to try the procedure with only a general anesthetic. It was hard to watch them do about 20 (not kidding) numbing injections around the site but mercifully the dentist blocked my view when he actually did the procedure. Eliannah didn't complain, didn't cry, did fuss. The only way I knew she was uncomfortable was because I could see her little chest rise and fall faster and faster and then ... out it came and she was chomping down on some gauze delighted to be picking out yet another toy. I was so proud of her!! Praise the Lord it went so well!!

Once the boys heard about her bravery (they were at my mom's down south) they were very impressed and as Zak had a loose tooth he asked me to extract it once I got there. Normally he has a panic attack and whines and moans about it but this time he patiently allowed me to yank that little sucker out and went off to bed with little more than a tissue for the blood. Guess he couldn't be shown up by little sis.

Eliannah and the Dentist

Yesterday Phillip took the boys down south to spend the week at my mom's. This means Eliannah had time for some important things like ... a long bubble bath and a mani-pedi. She loved picking out her favorite pink nail polish and watching me paint each fingernail. So much fun!

This morning Eliannah went in for a dental cleaning before her tooth gets pulled tomorrow. The Dentist just wanted to make sure that she responded well to having hands in her mouth and she did great. The oral Hygienist was so sweet. She let Eliannah pick out her favorite tooth polish (bubble gum) and explained everything along the way about how she was going to make Eliannah's teeth nice and pretty for the dentist. When she was finished she handed Eliannah a mirror and asked her, "Now don't your teeth look pretty?"

"No" Eliannah replied.

The Hygienist looked at her and then me confused. Eliannah looked upset.

It took me a couple of seconds to find out why Eliannah was so disappointed. Coming on the heals of her recent manicure she thought that she was picking a color of tooth polish and that she was going to wind up with pink teeth!! Poor girl!!

Kisses

Mommy's kiss is short and sweet
slipped in between her chores
She brings me right along with her
both in and out of doors.
So when she sees my eyes half closed
she carries me to bed.
And just before I go to sleep
- a kiss right on my head!

But daddy's kisses
come when he gets home
late at night when I should be asleep.
I get 5 -or -6 all in a rush
- - though it's kind of like being kissed by a brush
I think I like best his technique.