Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Colder than the heat of the snow

I see you laying in our bed
  and I lay in your shadow
The back side of your face a wall
  that does not break and will not fall
It's frozen in sunlight and covered in frost
   You're colder than ice but without you I'm lost

Your back is warm against my skin
   as I lay in your shadow
My lips are numb my heart's on fire
   and I burn without your aloe
I'm in flames but I'm afraid to show
  because you're colder than the heat of the snow

Drifting in sleep like the drifts of the snow
   as I lay within your shadow
I feel you breath through the sheets in our bed
I hear your sighs like a song in my head
I long for the dawn but don't want you to go
  You're the taste of the sunrise and the heat off the snow.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

The poem I read every January ...

When I Consider How My Light Is Spent

John Milton1608 - 1674
When I consider how my light is spent,
   Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
   And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
   My true account, lest He returning chide;
   “Doth God exact day-labor, light denied?”
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, “God doth not need
   Either man’s work or His own gifts. Who best
   Bear His mild yoke, they serve Him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at His bidding speed,
   And post o’er land and ocean without rest;
   They also serve who only stand and wait.”

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Winter Solstice

There is less daylight everyday
The sun burns through the sky
In ever shrinking circles

I watch the band of darkness grow
And know
That once the light becomes a golden ring
My lips will close
Beneath these songs I sing.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Don't be her shadow

I don't know if any of you have ever had to deal with the repercussions of a suicide but the amazing thing about it is how far reaching the effects are.  People you don't even know are hurt by it.  I wrote this after my niece's best friend hung herself.  I was afraid she might be tempted to do the same.  Normally I wouldn't share something so deeply personal and obviously painful but ... if somewhere in the vast world that is the internet someone reads this and realizes that suicide is an atom bomb of pain and devastation- maybe they will be inclined to seek help.

Don’t be her shadow

She hung her head and cried.
You said, “Your pain is my pain.”
She hung her head and cried.

She cut her wings and fell that day
She cut her wings and fell.
“Fall on my bed, you say I’ll catch your fall.”
You couldn’t know she wouldn’t call.

She gasped and choked,
She gasped and choked

You said, “I’ll catch ..
You said, “I’ll fall ..

She wept and said nothing at all.

She is not you, you are not she
I am not you, you are not me
And what comes next is what is true

If you were me and I were you -
I’d cling to something that won’t shake -
That will not fall
That cannot break
That will not leave
That won’t forsake
    - and cannot die
And loves you no matter what you try.

-JM Dec 18,2014

Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go
Oh, love that will not let me go
I rest my weary soul in thee
I give you back the life I owe
And in your ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be

My life is not my own
It's yours
My life is not my own
I know it's yours

Oh, light that follows all my way
I yield my flickering torch to thee
And my heart restores its borrowed ray
That in your sunshine's blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be

So light a fire in my heart
And I'll burn for you
So light a fire in my heart
And I'll burn for you

Oh, joy, that seeks me through the pain
I cannot close my heart to thee
I trace the rainbow through the rain
And feel the promise is not in vain

That morn shall tearless be

Monday, July 14, 2014

Things that quicken the heart ...

Right before the day meets the night
Rain that has not yet hit the earth
That exhausted final push before birth
The bridge between forgiveness and the fight

 … and tomorrow, when you know everything will be alright.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Throwback Thursday: Charissa 2 weeks old

I found this post, untouched and unpublished.  Can it be over 3 years ago that she was this little?

Little one, your history book is 14 pages long and I don't really know you yet but looking at you as you sleep just makes my eyeballs drown a little. I love your practice smiles.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

What to Pack for a no Sandwich Lunch!!!!

Gluten Free lunches:

Life kinds of stinks for a while when you go gluten free.  The following are some things that my family eats and packs in their lunches that aren't sandwiches and don't involve GF bread. Many are Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Paleo, and SCD/GAPS legal.

Potato sandwiches: 
mash up a cold potato and fill it with filling of choice (meatballs, tuna fish, lunch meat, broccoli and cheese?), close it up and eat it like a sandwich.

Kebab: because pretty much anything you put on a stick is cool
     sausage + pineapple kebabs
     Tater tot + meatball kebab  (store bought meatballs almost always have wheat in them)
     omelets cut up and put on kebab with cherry tomato and salami
     cherry tomato, basil, mozzarella kebab

If it's firm enough to make it onto a stick you can skewer it.  I like to do a protein and a carb but a fruit skewer or all meat skewer would work as well.

Bake Ahead of Time:
Pumpkin pie clautofis  This packs well in lunches and is best served cold. Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Paleo, and SCD/GAPS legal.

Paleo Breakfast bread:  super easy to pack in a lunchbox and tastes good at any temp (add tiny chocolate chips if you feel like pickier eaters wouldn't want to try it, I do think the recipe needs more sweetness so I add honey and more cinnamon) Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Paleo, and SCD/GAPS legal.

Almond Soda Bread:  I use half almond meal and half cashew meal. Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Paleo, and SCD/GAPS legal.

SoccaThis stuff is best hot and crisp from the oven but makes a super easy, super cheap cracker when baked up thin. Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Paleo, and SCD/GAPS legal.

SCD/GAPS, Paleo,  totally delicious, my kids hate sweet potato but love this
you could also use hash browns if you aren't interested in sweet potato

Other ideas:
tortilla chips and guacamole or hummus or bean dip
cabbage cups instead of tortillas or sandwich bread, you can fill these things with tuna salad, chicken salad, diced chicken, pretty much anything you would put on a sandwich except PB and J (yuck).
corn tortilla and anything you can put in a sandwich.  These roll best if you heat them first.
We've also tried apple sandwiches by coring and apple and cutting it up into bagel like slices.  It's just easier to cut up an apple the old fashioned way and eat it with peanut butter.

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