Pouting

Last night I had to give myself a good talking to. I've been very selfish and demanding lately and I told myself that I needed to wake up in the morning with a servant's attitude. Apparently all my good intentions leaked out and ended up on my husband instead because this morning I saw something I never dreamed I'd live to see.

I was on the recieving end of a nice breakfast in bed. What a surprise!! I've never had breakfast in bed my entire life!!!!!! My dear sweet husband and sweet children made an amazing breakfast of ham, eggs, english muffin, half a donut, milk and coffee (they looked around for some flowers but couldn't find any, I consider the donut a great alternative to a rose).

My resolution to be kinder to everyone has been helped greatly by my husbands example of selflessness. I know that he was three times more tired than I was, got up in the middle of the night to deal with a crying child and still let me sleep in until 9:00 (unheard of). Am I bragging? You bet I am!!! how can i pout when i have such a cute family!

Fat free Christian

Hey there Christian
I see you once a week
your Sunday school solution
Like a New Year's resolution

You're a one arm push-up
sometimes up, but mostly down
your're on some kind of treadmill
but you aren't gaining any ground

you're looking left,you're looking right
at others on their staitionary bike
push those pedals- win that race
spend and hour in one place

the race to win should point to heaven
but you're maxed out at level 7

Who is winning, you're all still abreast
an hour of exercise, a week of rest
Is anyone really trying their best?

Sounds pretty harsh
I do it too
I've got my spiritual gut - like you
I'm milk fed, log eyed - forget the meat
scripture reading's like a vegetable treat.

30 pounds in 30 days
I'm beefing up in spiritual ways
Is this zeal just another diet craze?

Sorry for the harsh poetry all the sudden, I guess I'm just fed up with my own excuses and am trying to kick my self in the butt (it's very hard to do ... good thing I'm flexible ;)

Missionaries these days

When I was in 4th grade I had a pen pal. It I think she lived in the Philippines and it took forever to get her letters. Later I started writing to my cousin in India and kept that up until I was in college. We probably wrote to each other a few times a year knowing that it would take 6 weeks for our letters to reach each other. Now there is email and missionaries are more connected than ever. I keep tabs on a cousin's work at a school in India and stay caught up with some college acquaintances (Josh and Naomi Smith) who are doing the Lord's work in Spain.
My parents are visiting them in Spain right now as a part of a mission trip that has taken them from Tanzania to Pamplona and will take them home this Sunday. Here are some pictures they took while in Tanzania, I can't believe that I've gotten almost daily updates from them when they are half way around the world!! (My parents are the "grown ups" in the pictures)

Funny Dream

My husband laughed at me today when I told him about my dream last night. I dreamt that I went to a grocery store, bought everything I wanted (no budget!) and had the greatest coupons for everything. I'm such a nerd!! I decided after 4 years of faithfully cutting coupons, organizing them and using the grocerygame program (it matches sales with double coupons so you end up saving over 50% on your groceries) it was time to stop making the trip to SLO each week and try to save money at my local grocery stores. Any penny pinchers out there? What do you do to save money on groceries? What is a normal food budget per week? My boys eat so much at age 5 and 3 that when I think I'm making a double recipe of something it ends up being enough for our dinner and possible enough to send with Phillip for lunch. And they just keep growing ....

Sunday Morning Sanctimony

I've got the gospel in my pocket
a couple verses in my head
my life verse above my window
and a spirit that is almost dead

I can quote some Greek and Hebrew
I'm unsure what it means
I could find it in a commentary
or stack of Christian magazines

I can spell hyper static union
I can quote all of Romans 8
I can sing in the congregation
with a heart that is full of hate.

What exactly is a Christian?
What does it mean to love?
How does the Gospel affect my station
' before the throne of God above'?

What's the good of going to church
if it's all for me and my friends?
Who's on my Christian wish list?
who even knows I'm a witness?

I want to serve you and your people
Lord,
I just don't know where to start
Create in me a right spirit
Create in my a clean heart.

I know, I know, I said I was relegating all of my poetry to my poetry blog but ... my husband made me do it.

In honor of Jeannette

The other day I actually had a moment to read an old Wired magazine (Feb 2007) and I just loved the small little snippet they had about how a fertilized egg becomes human. They talk about a block of concrete turning into a skyscraper complete with carpet, plumbing, windows and various other diverse building material. They ask "How did that cube know how to make a skyscraper? How does a cell know how to make a human? Biologists used to think that the cellular proteins somehow carried the instructions. But now proteins look more like pieces of brick and stone - useless without a building plan and a mason ..." and so, in honor of Jeanette's brand new baby - Congratulations on your little skyscraper!

Ps 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

While waiting for Jeanette to have her baby I decided to explore the blogosphere and click on links from other friends' pages. Boy did I come across an interesting article worth reading!! There are implications for women as well as men even thought the topic is a bit uncomfortable!

oh, oh, it's been 10 min! time to check her blog again for baby news.

More Swim Lesson pics

Once they got over the coldness of the big pool they had fun, although they prefure the cat pool (a.k.a. the "kiddie pool").




Stephanie (my niece) had a fun time too. This is her on the last day of lessons "hanging ten"

"Burning" questions

It is my goal to avoid politics and political opinions on this blog as I am not qualified to understand or express an opinion on anything that goes on in the realm of authority above me. But I do have some questions about global warming (I consider it a political issue)

1. Why is it called global warming? We have only tracked temperature for the last 100 years and I'm sure at one point in time Greenland was actually Green. What if we are just "coming back" from an abnormally cold period? What is the earth's perfect temperature anyway?

2. Why are we told to drive a prius to save the world but studies show that over it's lifetime a Hummer is more eco friendly?

3. Why are we told to switch from regular light bulbs to fluorescent ones? If you read the box carefully the fluorescent ones contain Mercury and can't be thrown away, the must be recycled. Also most of them aren't produced in the US but in coal burning factories in China.

4. Why are we told by some celebrities to limit ourselves to one piece of toilet paper, when their music tours use more resources than any of us will use in a lifetime? (yes, I do know that the t.p. comment was meant to be a joke)

5. And lastly, drive less, heat less, cool less, = save the world right? What if we attempted to balance the trade deficit? Shipping vast amounts of cheap products from other countries has got to make a dent somewhere. I'm not an economist but I do know that we buy way more than we sell and some sort of engine power will get it to us. (check out this up to the minute stat counter on the trade deficit)

These are real questions that I have, if you have any answers or if my conclusions are way off I would love to find out :) I guess the thing that bugs me most is that in all this hype about global warming is that I don't hear very much about protecting the environment, keeping it clean in reasonable ways and enjoying what we have.

I don't let my kids litter, I try to recycle, I only want to buy products from responsible manufacturers .. these are things I can do. I can't go out and buy a different kind of car, put solar panels on my house, stop eating methane producing beef etc. I just don't know who to believe about this stuff and who to trust.

a few of my favorite things

o.k. Here I go baring my soul to the world .. feel free to paste and copy ...

1. favorite candy: almond roca (made in my hometown)
2. favorite ice cream: Cotton Candy with sprinkles (coldstone)
3.favorite book: I love Titus Andronicus (it's good to know that even Shakespeare wrote some hilariously bad tragedy) I also love Villette, not as prominent as Jane Eyre but beautiful just the same.
4. favorite magazine: Wired, the Smithsonian
5. favorite memory from childhood: Trying to rappel off the second story of my house while my sister was babysitting me, (the jump ropes didn't work out the way I expected.)
6. quality you most admire in your spouse: A good, reasonable sense of perspective, I love the way my husband continues to challenge me to be, do and love more.
7. favorite way to spend your day: If I could spend a day water-skiing, teaching people how to water ski and hang out on a boat I would wonder if I was in heaven. Something more realistic would be to go to Avila, ride bikes to the beach and hang out at the farm.
8. how may meals you eat out each week 0-1
9. how many kids you'd like to have: 4
10. how many traffic tickets you've had: zero! (unless you count that one parking ticket)
11. best date ever: Picnic in a small cove in Palos Verdes. Phillip went to a gourmet grocery and put together the most amazing food. He even brought some sparkling cider in a sand bucket (this was before we were married)
12. favorite local eatery: That awesome sushi place in Nipomo!!! (Eliannah loves the edamame)
13. suggestions for a free, fun, family day: nothing like the beach, fishing off the pier is free if you use lures instead of bait.
14. one place you'd like to visit: Angkor Wat (Tibet), Temple at Karnac (Egypt), Bangalore (India, where my dad grew up)
15. favorite drink: coffee, red bull, red tea, boba, adult beverage: mimosa, soco and coke

Just playing around

Phillip told me to stop blogging so much so I decided to change my blogskin instead (don't ask me how long it took me to figure out). I lost some of my customization and haven't decided if I like it yet or not ...

Swim lessons

Swim lessons started for us at Sinsheimer. If anyone wants to keep me company Eliannah and I will be poolside 4:10-4:40 M-F for the next two weeks. My niece Stephanie is visiting, isn't she cute in her rainbow suit?

Got poetry?

So for all of you that hate poetry I just wanted to let you know that I'm starting a poetry only blog to keep this page more about Faith, friends and family. Check it out at rhymingcouplet.blogspot.com

And here is a picture of me an Phillip at the wedding this weekend. I can't believe Josh and Lisa made it down the aisle but if you see them at church next week you can congratulate them.

Happy Father's Day

Here is a picture of my dad feeding Eliannah some eggs at Christmas. The funny thing is that she loves eggs although the picture says otherwise.

Last year we celebrated the fact that my dad was still alive after the heart attack last year and this year he is on a short term mission trip with my mom. You've come a long way dad ... Happy Father's Dad!

Belief

who has courage to be new?
who has the grace to change?
who can reach out to a holy God?
and never be the same?

who can lift their head to heaven?
who can gaze upon the stars?
who can marvel at creation?
who can wonder at what's ours?

who can plunge their face
into the sea
and in that vastness see
the face of the Creator
who invented you and me?

I wonder and I question
while looking all about
And confirmed by
most complex design
I have no room for doubt

Clumsy little me

A beautiful tinkling music filled the air
and as I turned I jumped up from my chair.
The sad little song was over - so I thought
until the broom and dustpan showed me what
a cheerful little tune those shards could make
bumping up together when things break.

You know you are crazy when you write a poem about a broken bowl!

Women Discipling Women

O.k. I know I blog too much but this is important. I firmly believe that in a church without a parenting class or newlywed class we need to be committed to discipleship to avoid future problems. I haven't gotten the word out as well as I had hoped to but if you haven't heard from me consider yourself invited to the Women Discipling Women conference at Grace church in Sun Valley (the Men Discipling Men's Conference is the next week and Phillip will be going to that one.) I went last year and was very blessed and motivated to make more of an effort to disciple those around me. There has been talk of carpools and sleeping arraingements so if you need a ride or a place to stay please email me or leave me a comment. Discipling is not an option! We must work together to Glorify our Father and add to the family.

My hero

If I get to the gym late (around 10:00) I get to quietly observe the interactions of an old woman. I don't know her age or her name but she knows just about everyone that exercises on a regular basis. She talks to anyone that is within 5ft of her and always manages to get the conversation turned towards God. She is a true evangelist. Her humility and quiet kindness make everyone want to talk to her and get to know her. The few times that I have talked to her I have gone away encouraged. I can't remember which church she goes to in AG but I know that she listens to Pastor Tim on the inter net.

I, however, go to the gym for 2 reasons: 1.) to de-stress, relax, sweat and possibly burn a few calories in the process and 2.) to have 60-75 min. break from my children. I usually keep to myself and avoid all kinds of interaction by having a book or magazine in hand (Anyone who ever read "The Accidental Tourist" understands the protection a book brings). The Gym is all about "me time".

But right now I am at a point in my life where God is causing me look around and see where I can do more for him. Self indulgence is so hard to give up but I have an ache in my soul to see more people come to him and if all it costs me is a conversation how can I refuse?

Maybe I should start with some deodorant ....

True story

wallowing in a sea of slips
with a bra around her hips
panties on her head
tangled in lace
she saw me and ran
while I gave chase.
she has dolls and books and toys galore,
but nothing's as fun as mom's lingerie drawer!

Sorry for all of the poems, I think in rhym right now. I blame it on all that Dr. Seuss I'm reading.

To a dear friend

You know who you are ... you've seen this one before


you always need a friend that will tell you you are fat
just like that
"you're too fat"
and yet somehow you'll appriciate that

you always need a friend that will tell you what's true
hold a mirror up to you
and expect the same too
although for you it's a very hard thing to do

the friend that you need will sometimes let you cry
and have a shoulder nearby
she won't ask you why
but she'll hand you a tissue once your eyes run dry

tactless and truthfull
loyal and loving
right there when you need her
though you wouldn't want to be her

The bitter truth that comes out in the end
is that nobody wants that kind of a friend
thanks for accepting me just as I am.

William Wordsworth

My heart leaps up when I behold
a rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is the father of Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.
- William Wordsworth

I agree with W.W. I want to always be

Delighted by:

the birds that decorate our backyard fence,
The songs that children sing that make no sense
the flowers that die in vases around the house,
the sneaky bedtime whispers - quiet as a mouse!
the pictures that fight for space upon my wall
and the children that take delight in them all.

The darndest things

Eliot informed me today that when he grows up he wants to be the weather so that he can water the plants... this is better than his previous aspirations to be a "big fat momma". What goes on in their little brains? Eliannah also hasn't figured things out .. she emptied my entire tupperware drawer piece by piece into the trashcan. She was so very proud of herself. Being a mom is such an adventure.

Frustration!

As I sit here and slowely drizzle coffee down my throat my headache melts away, my crabbiness flies off and my soul wakes up (an hour after my body does). Why am I frustrated? I called a coupe of food banks yesterday to see if I could volunteer but due to insurance stuff they can't allow kids there. I want to teach my kids to have a heart for the unfortunate but I have no idea how to move past donating money/things to the care organizations in our area. Any ideas? I have all the time in the world this summer to do stuff for other people but I can't find a way to do it. ARGGGGGG! (oh, and the picture represents the way I feel after my first cup of coffee in the morning but Eliannah is just drinking water.)

A few jumbled thoughts

One of Phillilp's co-workers is a Buddist and is going to some monistary in Asia for a few weeks this summer. He will be starting his visits with 8 days of silence which got Phillip thinking about the virtues of Christian meditation. When do we sit silently before the Lord and contemplate an aspect of his character? I know that when I read my bible I call it "quiet time" but all I do is read my Bible and pray.
When do I sit back and wonder? when do I have time to formulate a question or explore and idea. I do believe that the Bible is simple, true, complex and deep. Am I trying to drink a waterfall through a straw?
I've been swimming all my life but I feel like I'm still in the shallows where my feet can touch and I know that I am safe. The greatest thing about God is that he is knowable and yet beyond our comprehension. I guess it's time I dig deeper ...

Something for Eliot

Smile my smile
laugh my song
hug my neck
from dark till dawn

bat my eyelids
toss my chin
fit my anger
race my win

you lack my wisdom
I lack your joy
I am your mother
you are my boy.

sick kids

So the kids have been sick all week and I've been left home to muse ...
What if the sum product of my career as a mother produces nothing more than three responsible, decent, hardworking hell bent sinners and a widening circle of friendships unfettered by spiritual conversations? What am I doing here? what is the point? There is nothing for me to do but serve the Lord with an ardent passion for the lost ....

brothers

headless snowman
g.i. joe man
bats and nets
doctors and debts
hugs that smother
- these are brothers

Sorry Eliannah!

hair brush and clip
pretty silk slip
laughing and crying
aguing and spying
each night you'll whisper
"wish I had a sister"

Not so great poem

Food shampoo, applesauce lotion
constant noise, constant motion

dirt in the bathtub, draining in swirls
I'm checking those bellybuttons for pearls!

a dinning room carpet that always goes crunch
remnants from breakfast, left-overs from lunch

cooking for armies, only 5 for dinner
you know mac n' cheese is always a winner!

someday: tidy kitchen, healthy dinner, empty table
and sad little me, eating dinner watching cable.